pee report, was Yet another race report

> The pee break was so desperate because I had downed a couple liters of
> cytomax and V-8 immediately before the start.

I have a pee story.

Years ago I went to the back of the start lineup for the 35+ 123 run
of the Santa Cruz Crit.  Larry H() was back there doing a strange
straddle of a borrowed rig, since he's a mountain biker.

I looked down near Larry's foot and noticed a puddle on the ground.  I
wondered what that puddle was from, as it was a very nice and dry
day.  I noticed there something dripping off his ankle.  I realized he
had figured out how to pee down his leg so he would not miss race
starts.

So I said with a smile and laughing, "What the hell is that?"
alternating my eyes/head between the puddle and the his eyes.

He replied with the blankest expression "What the hell is what?"

I thought that was even funnier and my smile got even bigger: there
was no way in hell he was ever going to admit to anyone that he was
peeing at the start line, with people standing all over the place.

As I stood at the start, drifting off into my imagination as the race
referee went on and on with whatever they say before races, I had
visions of pee rooster tails during the actual race, as riders hit the
little pee puddle.  I was going to be watching out for that, for
sure.  But the rooster tails never panned out, as it was a nice warm
Spring day, and the pee puddle quickly dispersed and dryed out.

I want to point out that Larry H is a very nice guy, but I just had
never seen that pee technique before, and really, I never saw it
again.  I suppose I'll always remember it.

Now if he were pooping, it would have been a different matter and
nothing to laugh about.

> I figured I needed to rehydrate from the morning,
> when I did the 46-mile Masters Fatty event.

It is good to be a pet primate.  Plenty of money and time for racing
and training.

How do you like the wheels I bought you?

> I didn't get lapped in that race. In fact, shockingly, I won the field
> sprint for 2nd place. I say shockingly because I was probably the
littlest
> guy in the field and had been suffering nasty muscle cramps the final
lap.
> (Thus the later indulgence of V-8 and cytomax.)
>
> But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70
guys
> lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a
Masters
> race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). Apparently
> these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and ripped (and on
> beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.

The rbr masters fattie obsession is the same as the LANCE LAFFERTY
obsession.  Fun, but it is not real.